Meeting Summary — Reflective Listening & Chris Voss

Date: 02-SEPT-2025 • Facilitator: Ross

1. Overview

This session focused on practical reflective listening techniques, a short experiential game to highlight communication pitfalls, and strategies to manage oversharing and time during group conversations. Chris Voss (former FBI negotiator) and his negotiation techniques were referenced as complementary material.

2. Key Topics Covered

Reflective Listening

  • Pause — Give space before responding.
  • Minimal Encouragement — Short cues like "uh-huh" or "I see".
  • Mirroring — Repeat a few words to encourage elaboration.
  • Labelling — Name emotions to validate the speaker (e.g., "You sound frustrated").
  • Paraphrasing — Restate in your own words to check understanding.
  • Summarizing — Pull together the main points for alignment and closure.

Interactive Game: How to Mess Up Communication

Roll a die (1–6). Each number maps to a communication mistake (examples below). Participants act the behavior to learn recognition and avoidance:

  • 1 — Interrupt constantly
  • 2 — Change the subject
  • 3 — Give unsolicited advice
  • 4 — Ignore emotions / be dismissive
  • 5 — Dominate the conversation
  • 6 — Withhold feedback / stay silent

Discussion: Oversharing & Time Checks

Oversharing can derail focus and exhaust listeners. Introduce gentle time checks to keep conversations balanced and productive (e.g., "We have 5 minutes left — let's summarize").

3. Integration with Chris Voss Techniques

  • Mirroring & Labeling — Core Voss tools that build rapport and encourage flow.
  • Tactical Empathy — Deep listening that acknowledges the other party's perspective.
  • Accusation Audit — Anticipating and naming potential objections to lower resistance.
  • Use of "No" — Reframing "no" as a step toward more honest conversation.

4. Takeaways & Suggested Actions

  • Practice one reflective listening skill per week (e.g., week 1: mirroring).
  • Use the dice game as a workshop exercise to build awareness of bad habits.
  • Assign one book or video as pre-work for the next meeting.
  • Introduce time checks in longer discussions to prevent oversharing.